Trailer Bowl

The super bowl saw the premiere of many highly anticipated movie trailers. I’m going to break them all down for you, watch out:

G.I. Joe
This could be fun. Mom never let me watch the show or have the toys. She thought they glorified war. That woman is a piece of work. Looks pretty cool, Ninja’s are defiantly the new Chuck Norris. Dennis Quaid is always reliable. Kind of badass. I like it.

Angels and Demons
Way better hair for Tom Hanks in this one. Never saw the first one nor read the book. Eh, not sold. Don’t shoot.

Year One
Michael Cera is kind of on a roll. Harold Ramis is the man so that’s another plus. This looks pretty promising. I haven’t really seen anything on the big summer comedies.

Fast Furious
Car Fu pretty ridonkulous. Can’t be worse than Tokyo Drift. On a side note, I think Vin Diesel doesn’t get enough credit for his short film “Faces.” That was pretty good. I hope they don’t let Michelle Rodriguez drive. Oh, women.

Land of the Lost
Anything with Danny McBride has potential to be good. I remember the remake show version with its blatant Jeep product placement. Love that Matt Lauer can suck it. Could be cool to see stoned. Most things are.

Star Trek
Consider me sold. J.J. Abrams may have made a pretty badass Star Trek. Have you ever seen this guy’s TED talk? He’s like a white TD Jakes. Love this man. Action packed space fights. Quinto’s Spock is dead on. McCoy seems right too. Want to see Simon Pegg’s Scotty. Space sky dive looks awesome.

Up
Pixar does it again. I love the montage of pixar films to remind you how much you love them all. This looks great, who doesn’t love a crotchety old man? Fat little Boy Scout is adorable.

Monsters Vs. Aliens
Wish I had the glasses. You all know my opinions on 3-D and I love the concept of this movie. This looks like it’s going to be a blast. Seth Rogen’s a one-eyed monster. That must be a big fuck you to Billy Crystal. I just want so really long fight scenes between these characters. I heard somewhere that it was going to be in IMAX too. Hope that’s true.

Race to Witch Mountain
Dwayne Johnson is the man. I loved the original. I remember watching it for the first time at Summer Recreation. Alien kid versus SUV is awesome. Could be a cool kids movie. If I go to the park and I see a kid and I’m like, “Hey, kid, want some candy?” I could take the kid to the movie, get him some MilkDuds and not look like a jerkoff seeing it alone. Cool.


Transformers Revenge of the Fallen
Want to see a bit more for a movie that comes out in six months. I enjoyed the first one but this didn’t seem like a big enough difference. This was the one I was really hyped for and it fell a bit flat. Figures.

If you missed any of the trailers, Alec Baldwin (what an amazing re-invention of his career, by the way) insists you can watch them all on hulu.com.

P.S. It appears if you buy a Hyundai and get shit-canned, you can return the thing without any real repercussions. Our balls economy has spoken.